Wednesday 15 April 2015

L is for Look Left








Is it just me or does every third person you pass in the street have a mobile phone glued to their ear?


I think I'm turning into a grumpy old man but these tiny prophetic signs of doom niggle me. I mean is it absolutely necessary to be in a constant conversation with somebody who you probably saw in person five minutes ago? I grew up in a time when there were no mobile phones and no internet connection. If you wanted to connect with somebody you had to use your home phone or attach a message to a pigeon or nip across the road to use a telephone box. Yep I just said telephone box. Those strange alien looking things that are now either filled with second hand books or used for drug dealing and pissing in on a late night bender. I think everybody of a certain age can remember squeezing into a telephone box to hide from the rain or breaking up with somebody in one of them or stealing a quick fumble with somebody you shouldn't have.



Now the only thing people are fumbling with are their mobile phones. They don't even stop to cross the road. When I was a kid I remember the Green Cross Code Man telling everybody to look left and then right to make sure the road was clear. Now if they ever had to wheel him out of retirement he'd have to change it to Look Left, look Right and switch off your bloody phone.


Phones are a menace. Somebody is going to get run over one of these days in the middle of downloading a map of the Chinese Underground or while ordering a cheese and elder-flower sandwich from Butties4U.com. But is that the reason why everybody is on their phone? Are they really that desperate for human interaction or are they hiding something deeper? I think that it goes deeper than that. I propose that the real reason people have phones permanently glued to their ears is this.



They want to look like they are not on their own.



Read it and then read it again. It's more of a hunch. I'm no psycho analytic wizard but it's what I'm beginning to think. People don't want to be seen to be actually on their own anymore. It's not cool.


Maybe my hunch is a load of codswallop but I do know it can't be safe crossing a road with a pram and a dog and a phone stuck to your ear lobe.



And then there are drivers.


Drivers with mobiles stuck to their ears or (more often) on their laps.



It's dangerous. Very dangerous. But somehow the message isn't getting across. We need the equivalent of the Green Cross Code Man to tackle this problem or we need to bring back the good old telephone box or we need to bring them back and lock a few of these idiots inside them. Or maybe I need to get with the times and stop being so grumpy. I'll let you decide.








Written for the A to Z Blog Challenge.

Tuesday 14 April 2015

K is for Knife-Edge




Tuesday, 14 April 2015





So I've caught up with Camp Nano but I'm behind a little bit with the A to Z Challenge so here goes for K.



It's Election time in the UK and the political parties are all over our TV like it's just been invented. You can't turn on the television at the moment without seeing David Cameron's smug face or Ed Miliband making love to the television cameras. One is smooth as silk and the other has been worked on so much by his team that he is nearly unrecognisable from the geeky, nervous guy that first won the Labour Nomination all those years ago. He is turning into a Tony Blair clone. He is talking and walking like him and soon he will probably be indistinct from the former leader.


But it's not all about looks. It's about content. This country has been through the worldwide recession and it's coming through the other end. But it's still on a knife-edge. The NHS is in turmoil. Immigration is such a hot potato that nobody wants to catch it in case they burn their hands. And we are still up to our knee-caps in debt.


But who are really on a knife-edge?


I'll tell you who. The Tories and the Labour and everyone else are banging on about their party being the party for the workers. It's the phrase that keeps falling out of their mouths every second. The workers. 'We are the party of the workers of the United Kingdom.'

They shout it from the rooftops. They fling the banner over their specially designed coaches and their pulpits. But listen to what they are saying.

Who is missing?



The unemployed. There you go, I've said it. The unemployed are missing. I have listened to them on TV, on the radio, on the internet, in the newspapers but where have they hidden the unemployed?


There are thousands of unemployed people in this country who are trying to scrape a life from themselves from the left overs of our society. But when do they ever get mentioned by Miliband? By Cameron? By any other faceless politician?

It's a dirty word. Unemployed. Isn't it? But they are the people that are on a Knife-Edge. Unemployed people and homeless people and other human beings on the fringes of our society. Human beings that politicians don't want to talk about in case they catch something. Not once have I heard the phrase 'job creation,' coming out of their mouths.



Yes there are many people who live their entire lived on benefits because it's what they do. It's what their families have always done. But a vast majority of unemployed people have fell down life's plughole and nobody is even attempting to scrape them out. Human beings in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's are on the scrap heap but who is talking about them.





Dear Mr Miliband/Blair & Mr Cameron are you?



Quit calling yourselves the party of the working people.











------


Written for this month's A to Z Challenge.

Sunday 11 January 2015

How do you like your Religion?










THE DEVASTATING SERIES of events in Paris have sparked outrage throughout the world and have also sparked a nationwide debate that will probably go on for decades. But where do you stand? What does it all mean for the World of Islam? For humanity?


Here are some of my thoughts.



Having a religious belief can be a wonderful comfort to anybody. As long as that belief doesn't (A) lead to somebody being murdered, (B) somebody being hurt or (C) somebody being made too feel small or discriminated against.


(A) speaks for itself. Murder can never be tolerated. Killing somebody for your religion or because your God has told you to do it is wrong. Right? Because what kind of a loving God would ask you to do that? I can't speak for Islam or any other religion but it's common knowledge that the Christian bible contains examples of people killing for God. Or God telling people to murder people for him. Whether this is factual or fictional, there's no argument that it's there in the bible. Maybe the same can be said for other religious books, maybe somebody can tell me?


(B) is also self explanatory.  Hurting another human being because of your religious belief cannot be right. Whether it is torture or imprisonment or mental or physical abuse. I repeat, what kind of a loving God would ask you to do that?


 (C) however is a fine line that will probably be argued about forever. It can be argued that some (not all) Christians discriminate against homosexuals. Some Muslims force their women to cover themselves from head to foot. Is it right that in Britain today some Muslim children go to Muslim schools and are separated from the rest of society in this way? Is it right for Muslim women to be forced in to organised marriages?




Then there is the debate about the Charlie Hebdo cartoons. I personally don't think these kinds of cartoons are helpful. Is making fun of any religion a case of free speech or a case of discrimination? I may hold the view that such cartoons are not helpful and inflammatory in many ways but who should ever murder a single person because of a cartoon? Surely everybody is entitled to feel offended but nobody should have the right to murder anybody because they feel offended. Is it right that the British Media decide not to reproduce such cartoons for fear of terrorist attacks?




So what do we do about terrorism inside religion? Can we do anything?



The problem is that terrorist organisations are living (hiding) inside The World of Islam like parasites. How do we as the human race deal with terroristm within Islam without harming Islam itself? How must it feel to be living as a peaceful Muslim in today's society when your religion is being eaten alive from within by parasites? When your own God's name tag is being sewed onto the collars of mass murderers?





Let's not forget that this isn't a new problem. Murderers have been hiding inside organized religion for centuries. Men, women and children have been tortured and killed in the name of Christianity as well as Islam. The shame is hidden inside our history books. The question is, how can we write a different history for our Great Great Great Grandchildren? And who's job is it? Is there anything we can do or is it always going to be like this now?









                                                      (C) Ally Atherton




Got something to say? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Saturday 18 October 2014

New Dog Breeds








                   Found this little nugget via social media. Enjoy :)





New Dog Cross Breeds
  1. Collie + Lhasa Apso - Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
  2. Pointer + Setter - Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
  3. Great Pyrenees + Dachshund - Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
  4. Pekingese + Lhasa Apso - Peekasso, an abstract dog
  5. Newfoundland + Basset Hound - Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
  6. Terrier + Bulldog -Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
  7. Bloodhound + Labrador - Blabador, a dog that isn't popular with criminals
  8. Malamute + Pointer -Moot Point, owned by.... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
  9. Collie + Malamute - Commute, a dog that travels to work
  10. Deerhound + Terrier - Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
  11. Bull Terrier + Shitzu - Oh, never mind.... 
  12.  Retriever + Irish Setter - Resetter, a dog that can set your VCR for you

Sunday 12 October 2014

Stolen from Social Media


               Senior trying to get a password





WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourNoseIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER: ReallyTickedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourNoseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

                                           #




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